This is Drinking with Mad Men, in which we overanalyze the beverage choices of Don Draper and friends. Spoilers ahead.
Is it me, or was there a lot more cigarette smoking than usual in this episode? Maybe it's because I'm constantly on the lookout for a drink—any drink!—and in these late episodes, where cocktail culture is nearly dead, the sight of any kind of mood-altering substance sets off my radar. Either way, the smoking, particularly in this episode, has a feeling of doom about it, too: When will Megan's L.A. house go up in flames? When will Betty's smoking-instead-of-eating ways give her lung cancer?
Well, not last night anyway. This was an episode about not drinking. The new Don—semi-sober and faithful—is trying to retain the affections of both his wife, who's having trouble being "the new girl in town" in Hollywood, and his employer, which is listing creatively without his genius. But neither is fully ready to believe in Don. Megan's fully convinced he's cheating on her—until she learns he's never at the office because he's been lying to her about his forced leave of absence. His protestation that "I haven't even been drinking that much" doesn't help; in fact, it makes things worse: To Megan, it means that he's embarked on his deception of her, not to mention his abandonment of her, with a clear head. Unforgivable.
For Sterling Cooper & Partners, drinking is at the center of everything. When Don shows up in the office on Monday morning—at the behest of Roger Sterling, who's told no one of his decision to invite Don back—no one knows what's going on, or really why Don left in the first place. "Maybe he finished drying out?" theorizes one of the creative minions whose name never really gets mentioned. And yes, Don definitely needed to cut back on the drinking, but the way everyone looks at him as a dangerous alcoholic (mediocre Lou, Don's replacement, suggests calling security) kind of bothers me. That's not only because we've seen Don moderating his ways—tomato juice on the flight to L.A., a small glass of whiskey at home, controlling himself at a dinner where his chortling companions sip brandy—but also because we know the issues that led to Don's spectacular flame-out with Hershey's have less to do with the drinking than with Don's decades of lying and split identities (one the consequence of the other, though which came first is a complex issue).
In any case, when the full partners finally, reluctantly invite Don back to work, it's no surprise that Joan announces the terms of that return: "Outside of client entertaining, there will be no drinking in the office." Got it, understood, no problem. It's the next requirement that's particularly galling—Don has to report to... Lou. As Don contemplates all this, there's a look on his face: What is he thinking about? How the more he strives to be honest—with his wife, with clients, with his co-workers—the less trusting they are of him? How the more he dissembles, the happier everyone else is? What the end of all this sobriety and honesty might be?
Whatever he's thinking, he comes to a decision: "Okay," he says.
Someone buy that man a drink.
P.S. Let us not forget Chevalier Noir (the ad campaign that Peggy and Stan pitched to Lou)! I couldn't tell, from either the show or a bit of Googling, whether it's a cologne or a Champagne. (Do you know?) But whatever it is, I want it. More horsepower!