What a difference a day makes: Simon Zebo on anxiety and euphoria of becoming a dad
Simon Zebo and family in Limerick. Pic: Brian Arthur
“I had no doubt. It was the first thing that came to mind. It was one of the most memorable days of my life, one that will stick with me forever more – May 14, 2015, when Jacob came.
“My wife had been preparing for the day, we both had, but Elvira was the one who’d be doing all the work. He arrived at 8 in the morning. Elvira was scheduled to have a C-section. She initially wanted to try naturally for as long as she could. I was very nervous really. I felt very helpless as a father, not being able to do so much, except hold her hand.
“We were delaying it and delaying it and eventually we knew we’d have to get the Caesarean. He was just starting to struggle with the umbilical cord. We knew trying for a natural birth was no longer possible. All the alarm bells started ringing. The doctors explained the options we had, what could happen if we didn’t have the Caesarean. They were leaning towards the safety of Caesarean.
“It was a very anxious moment. The hardest part was the unknown. I suppose I didn’t understand all the ramifications. I thought it’d all be plain sailing. Then I was able to calm down – I realised both Elvira and the baby would be ok.
“And after not such a long time, he was with us, Jacob. And it was…oh…euphoria! An incredible feeling to hold your own son in that moment, to hear his first cry, see his face for the first time. So many firsts I’d never experienced before. It was eye-opening. It made my heart open up, those feelings coming in I’d never felt before – pure love, feeling protective.
“Even when the doctors tried to take him for routine tests, I was feeling quite protective. It brought out things I didn’t realise I had. I was a father. It was an amazing feeling.
“I noticed certain resemblances – he looked a lot like me as a baby. And he was roaring crying. He didn’t seem too happy to meet me! He was beautiful, perfect – it’s hard to describe that feeling. Everything felt perfect when I held him. No matter what he looked like I was going to love him. The fact he looked like me was an added bonus.
“I’d made phone calls, sent messages, let people know it’d be a Caesarean. It was an incredible feeling, all my family downstairs in CUH, waiting for the news – my grandparents, mother, father, my sister and brother-in-law and Elvira’s mother as well. I’ll never forget that feeling of coming down, with the biggest smile, to tell them…everything….the weight, size, what he looked like, how it felt to hold him.
“It definitely felt life-changing. I knew nothing would be the same as soon as we came back to the house with our new addition. It was an immediate life change, one we’d been hugely excited for. To start a new journey as a family of three was something super special. All of a sudden we were planning for doing everything as a threesome, with this extra mini-version of ourselves.
“There was an immediate sense of responsibility. I had to dress him, change his nappies, because Elvira was recovering and the recovery was very tough on her. A lot fell on me for those first weeks, doing night feeds, bottle feeding. It hit home straightaway how reliant Jacob was on us, and how satisfying that is, to have the responsibility of looking after a child. It was incredibly special and a feeling that came to me straightaway.
“On the same day the week before, I hadn’t had a care in the world, I’d have been relaxing, focusing on rugby. Now, all of a sudden, other things got pushed to the background. My only focus was wife and child. That was fairly immediate and not much has changed since.
“I always knew I’d be very protective, very loving, that I’d do anything for him. There was no doubt about the most important thing going forward. The difference is I’m a father first, as opposed to being a rugby player first. Everything I do being a father and husband is to the forefront of my life, as opposed to life in the past revolving around rugby.
“I take the word ‘family’ seriously. Making sure family is the priority is easy because I’ve always been like that. Now my immediate family is my children and my wife. My father raised us well and made sure family was the highest valued thing – he was always someone I looked up to and our relationship is something I value deeply.
“I always wanted to be a dad and to be a young father and try to be a cool dad – have my children come watch me play, have the energy and capability to be able to play with them, and bond with them emotionally, because the age gap isn’t so great.
“What I experienced in those 24 hours – no game or anything ever compared or came close to it.”
- Heineken® 0.0 Drop Kicks: Munster star Simon Zebo has been collaborating with Irish designer Barbara Bennett, finessing the design of his limited edition collection of trainers. These exclusive kicks were launched to celebrate the Investec Champions Cup 2024, of which Heineken is a premium partner.
